I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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