Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
