with your own penis?
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
