Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
