am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
