gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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