what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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