How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
