eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
