so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
