dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
