for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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