MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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