Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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