I wish I only lived at night.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
