we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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