PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.