I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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