I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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