It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
