Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i now understand why vodka
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
