Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize