I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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