in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
