if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
