hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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