He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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