ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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