i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my shit smells like andre
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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