his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
