Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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