I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm getting married
To pizza
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
