Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
