Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
