We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
