cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
