so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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