The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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