ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
