I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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