Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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