Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Someone came in the potted fern
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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