Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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