Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize