is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We are all done wearing pants today
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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