i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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