...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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