Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
