Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
