i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
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She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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