he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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