you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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