We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
