She is in my trunk
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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