Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize