The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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