The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
