I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
