Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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