One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
