I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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